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It was a normal Monday night in Manchester, but something special was happening. At Manchester Arena, a concert stadium that holds 21,000 people, Ariana Grande was performing! The excitement that thousands of children, teenagers and adults must have been feeling!
Just after the end of the wonderful concert, when everyone was feeling elated, it was all torn away. All those lives changed in a second.
Like everyone else (other than the warped supporters of this kind of extremism) I am outraged by this callous, coldblooded slaughter and maiming of innocents. Behaviour like this bewilders me. I can’t comprehend the impact it’ll have on everyone, mentally and emotionally.
You don’t need to have been directly involved to feel an overwhelming sadness today. I can’t get this senseless violence out of my head. All those innocent people dead and injured… and so many, so young. WHY?!
Like the people who have taken to LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook etc today who are feeling angry, really emotional, disturbed and sad, I’m oscillating between these feelings and emotions. I am livid. I am upset.
Left unchecked, these feelings can be damaging.
One can barely begin to imagine how those people directly affected by this cowardly act must feel today, and how they will feel in the days, weeks and months ahead. Their lives will be changed forever. It’s no real consolation, but do we live in a society where we can readily access post-traumatic support of all kinds.
Tragedies like the Manchester attack have a wider impact on society as a whole, and many people will be mentally and emotionally affected, too – but clearly to a much lesser extent than those directly involved. These people may also need some help.
There are more and more of today’s type of attacks around the world now. We’re used to seeing them played out via TV, radio, newspapers and social media. That does not make us immune from natural reactions to traumatic incidents.
We get good at dealing with grief, with sadness. I say ‘we’ as it really is collective. We’re responding to the Manchester attack in the same types of way. Many people are suffering from one degree to another – those inside the arena, witnesses, the families and friends of those involved, police officers, ambulance paramedics, members of the public both on site and watching from home.
Over the coming days, people are going to start feeling things they may not expect to feel.
That’s how trauma works. Your response to it is totally normal. You are normal.
Perhaps you’re not troubled yet; maybe your children seem fine right now. There is no timescale as to if or when traumatic events affect you. It may hit in a week; maybe next year. All I know is that for most people, it hits you eventually, so you best deal with it now.
Those affected by a traumatic incident sometimes become aggressive as a result of not feeling safe. If you’re feeling this way, understand that this is a transient reaction to the situation, and it’s extremely important that you don’t act on these feelings. Other people being violent never gives you an excuse to be violent in return. Talk to someone. It’s a huge help.
I’ve carried out Stress Audits, led Peer Support training, completed Trauma Risk Management Practitioner and Manager courses, spoken to families of people killed in incidents, and met with police officers who have just delivered a “death message” to a family.
I’ll be honest. In 14 years in my field, there are 2 things that I have found to be most effective – and they are the most simple
Nature has a way of healing by allowing feelings to come to the surface. Don’t fight those feelings. In time you will need to think about and talk about what has happened. The emotional and physical support of those around you and sharing with others who have been through a similar experience can be of great comfort.
